I am naturally a very unforgiving person. I may appear angry and selfish to people who don't know me very well, or maybe kind of sad. I may even seem a little bitter. But these are not ways I want to be seen, because I know someone who possesses all of these traits and I don't want to "grow up" to be her.
I met someone this past summer, who is a friend of my cousin, this woman is my "hero". I've seen this woman twice, for a hour or two each time, and she just seemed very happy and kind. I'm quiet (and maybe some would call me shy), but I felt pretty much comfortable and natural around this woman - even so much so that I got to play a little bit with her one year old son. This woman, both times when I saw her, was very pregnant with her second child and she also had that one year old son that I mentioned, both times that I saw her she was alone with her children without her husband, yet she was happy and in control of things. I want to be like her.
I look at myself and I look at someone like the first person who I mentioned who, for awhile, I felt like I was turning into, and I want to change. I look at myself and then I look at the second person that I mentioned and who I would like to be more like, and I want to change.
I want to change, and maybe now that I have posted this, I will feel like I am being held accountable. Thank you. :)